Friday, May 09, 2008

The Circus...

Funerals are boring. Well, unless you bring Wyatt with you. He started his jabbering as soon as everything got really quiet. Then he started pitching a mega fit to be let down. My cousin Mandi took him out of the chapel. I love Mandi, she is so cool. And unique.

Mandi's idea of dressing nicely for a funeral is wearing her extra baggy jeans without the holes in them. Her idea of feminine is an XXL "pink" polo shirt. She is a big girl but her clothes make her look even bigger. Never a bit of make-up. Hair always combed back in a ponytail. There have been rumors that she is gay. But she never talks about it one way or the other. Whatever. I heart cousin Mandi.

It was my great-grandmother that passed away. Natural causes at the ripe old age of 98. She was a sassy one. I wasn't really close to her. But it's still sad when people die. I think hospice helps speed up the grand finale with morphine. But anyway..."Mommie" is what the family called her. She was a petite little woman with decent looks. But her kids?! Damn!! You've never seen such a genetic pile of steaming crap! Those are some uuuugly mugs. Craggy skin, overweight, coarse hair on those who have it. And throw in the occasional retard. I kid you not. Thank God my dad married my mom who has fabulous genes and passed them all to me. I have no resemblance to that group of goblins. If I stand next to my dad, who is quite handsome, you can tell we are related. But that is the extent of it. My dad got some decent genes out it. But his aunts and uncles....the stuff of seriously unfortunate breeding. The women have craggy skin and masculine features. The men, no description will describe them accurately.

I'm wonderfully glad that circus is over.


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