Monday, August 28, 2006

Hostility

I have worked my entire life. If not at being good in school, then at an actual workplace. I've been here at my current job for almost 7 years. I feel an attachment to the place. I've loved my job, my boss, everything about it. However it seems my affection is one sided. This place has seemed more that a little hostile towards me in regard to policy throughout this. It's made me feel like I'm asking for special treatment and doing something I shouldn't. I realize that I may be a bit over emotional these days so it is hard for me to separate what may be hormones from what may be an actual wrong committed. Regardless of it being hormones or not I can't help but feel pretty rotten. I have annual leave built up that should allow me leave early throughout the week. If I leave at 1 o'clock every day I have enough leave to compensate for the unworked 15 hours per week to equal the pay for 40 hours. However my supervisor told me today that he needed to check to see if such arrangements were allowed. It would be considered abuse of some sort were it not for my very obvious condition.
My desire is to continue to work half days for as long as I can. However the feedback that I'm receiving from this place is contrary to my own needs. I enjoy having a place to come to each day, to help fill the time, to feel productive. I know that I am helpful here. It's just really difficult to feel so shamed by the administration. I would have never thought in a million years that I'd be feeling this way here. It's like a bad dream. A heartbreaking bad dream. I have always felt that this place made me feel secure and that the people I worked with and administration felt a mutual appreciation for not only the way I do my job but also the person I am. It seems I have been sadly wrong.

3 Comments:

Blogger Sarah said...

How can it be considered abuse? It's personal time, you should be able to use it however you want!

It sounds like your bosses don't have any kids. I think they'd be more understanding if they were in your shoes, your poor swollen shoes!

You could tell them that at least your not one of those people under doctor ordered bed rest, they should be so lucky!

1:20 PM  
Blogger Liz said...

Yeah, I don't think it's so much a hostility directed at you as a lack of understanding for what you're going through. Sarah is right, they don't sound like they have kids.

Well, look at it this way, in the time you have left at work before the birth, if anyone ever asks you what you've done all day you can say, "Well, I've done this, this, this, and all the while I grew 10 tiny toes, 10 tiny fingers, AND A LITTLE PENIS! What did YOOOOOOU do today?"

11:55 AM  
Blogger Jenni said...

Sarah and Liz, You two are sweet. Thanks for the back up. And Liz, You are crazy, girl!

6:39 AM  

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