7 Months

I can feel the emotions welling up inside me. Just waiting for any little reason to overflow. The end result is that I end up bawling over nonsense. Ax made himself coffee this morning. He went to put milk in it and we were out. He made a hateful remark. Oh Holy Morocco. I held it in until I got into the car and on the road. It is not smart or easy to drive when your eyes are full of tears and you can't catch your breath. I had a hell of time reaching for a napkin in the glove box. It was all I had to mop up some of the waterworks. And then...Ax called. He said he was sorry and was being so sweet to me. That just totally made it worse. I cried harder. He offered to take me to dinner tonight, to take me to buy some jewelry for an early birthday present, to make dinner himself tonight if I didn't want to go out, to take me to the aquarium in Chattanooga to see the butterfly exhibit again. Ax is such a sweetie. I'm thankful to have him and thankful that he is so tolerant of my nuttiness.

Outside of the occasional emotional breakdown, which thus far is honestly a fairly rare thing, I am doing well. My belly is growing daily and according to Ax and everyone else, I am definitely obviously preggers now. I can feel Wyatt (that what we've finally decided on) moving a lot. He's swimming around and kicking and punching. I am joyful with every motion I feel from him.

I must admit that with the increasing girth comes increasing discomfort. Discomfort at looking at my fattness in the mirror. Clothes fit weirdly. My face is puffy. I am swelling in a variety of places. Sitting or lying certain ways just doesn't workout for me these days. But I do realize that this is only a very minor preview compared to what I have to look forward to in the days ahead. I am going to make an honest attempt to cherish everything I can about this experience. I may not be blessed with every going through it again. I am thankful.