Liar Liar

Granny's finances are in horrible condition. I took her to the bank and to the insurance company for me to pay her bill. After that I took granny to pick up her car. She was going to drive home, I was going to stop by the grocery store to pick up some things for her and then go to her house. After stopping at the store my cell rings. It's granny. She's telling me that she needs some money. I said, "Why, is Mark there?" She tells me no. So I told her I was on my way and would be there in less than 5 minutes. I arrived and surprise, surprise Mark was gone in granny's car. With her cell phone. I got on the phone and called Mark. I told him that granny had said he needed some money and that if he'd come back I'd give it to him. The truth was that Ax was also there and we wanted to give Mark something far more valuable than money. A good 'ol ass whoopin. Well, the little turd arrived and we all had a little sit down. I proceeded to tell Mark all of my opinions about him and his lifestyle. We told him that we did not want him to ever drive granny's car again. Mark was very civilized during all of this and agreed to everything. He promised to stop driving granny's car. Granny promised not to give Mark her keys anymore. Next, at granny's request, we had a little prayer session. The evening ended with me hugging Mark, Ax shaking his hand, all RAINBOWS AND ROSES. And if you think that 's the end of it well, I've got some oceanfront property in Arizona to sell you. SUCKER. Cuz it aint over, not by a long shot.
The next part of this stupidly stupid saga begins Tuesday. I began to call for information regarding all the bounced checks, including those at granny's employer. Also to pull all my hair out with stress regarding all her unpaid and over due bills. I have developed a twitch and drool and a disorder that causes me to spontaneously shout out very foul words. Oh wait, had all that anyway. But I digress. Let's just suffice it to say that the stress from this was overwhelming. And that's about the time that all hell broke loose. While trying to decipher all of granny's finances I called my uncle Mike. Uncle Mike was mentioned in the previous post as living in the house behind granny. Mike is a big, fat drunken jerk. I decided to call Mike so as to inform of the situation regarding granny. He was fairly decent and told me he was glad that I would be handling her finances. He said that he had offered to handle them for her. Uncle Mike then dropped a BOMB. He informed me that granny pays him $200 a month for rent. WHAT??!!! She pays HIM??!! But wait, I thought granny owned it all and paid the mortgage. UHHH NOOOO. Mike informed that two years ago granny signed over all the property to Mike. He collects all the rent and the whole pie (equity and all) belong to him. I asked Mike if my mother was aware of this. Mike casually and nonchalantly said that YES, my mother was fully aware of the entire scheme. After this conversation I dialed my mother as quickly as my little fingers would allow. My mother did NOT know any of this. Two years ago my grandmother had brought this topic up and my mother offered to purchase the property. My grandmother refused. Evidently granny went behind my mothers back and lied to Mike, telling him that my mom knew and then sold my mother's inheritance to her brother. Mom was/is a little upset to say the least.
More on the story tomorrow.