Apprehension

While I try to remain optimistic, I've been a bit apprehensive about things lately. My morning sickness is finally subsiding and I feel rather "normal". I'm not showing at all. I suppose the lack of discomfort worries me. I want so desperately for everything to be okay. I've heard the heartbeat and seen the beanie on the ultrasound. I'm anxious to feel, see, or hear something reassuring. I know that going to the doctor tomorrow will help tremendously. The appointment has come at just the right time. They can ease my apprehension one way and one way only. With that little doppler device that can detect the heartbeat. I'll be so thankful to hear it. I'm also very interested in my hormone levels. I hope it's all going textbook perfect.

The other point of apprehension for me regards my desk that is for sale in the paper. I got the desk when I was in college, for my birthday. It was rather expensive so I helped to pay for it. I picked it out. It's a cherry rolltop desk with brass accents. It's beautiful. Ax and I have a small house and the desk isn't functional for housing a computer. There is no place for a keyboard and the inside of the desk is full of little drawers, cubby holes, and slots. I'm sacrificing it to use the money we get to buy a much more useful computer armoire. It would hide all of Ax's computer junk. The problem is that I don't really want to sell my desk. I want to rearrange our small and already cramped dining room to make room for it. One day we'll have a bigger house. One day they'll be room for a beautiful roll top desk. Dammit. It's frustrating.