Wednesday, January 18, 2006

OH. MY. GOD.

I am a couple of days late. I took a pregnancy test yesterday at work to ease my mind. Or so I thought. IT IS POSITIVE.

WHAT THE HECK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO NOW?!!!

I almost passed out when those two little lines turned pink. How do people deal with this? I am scared crap-less. WORD TO THE WISE: Never, ever take a pregnancy test at work. If it's positive you will then have the longest day of your life ahead of you.

I really, really wanted to wait about a year before I became "in the family way".

I got shitty drunk last weekend. Now I'm terrified that I've done something awful. I've been reading everything on the internet about drinking before you found out you were pregnant. Most of says that everything will be okay so long as I stop now. WHICH I WILL NOT GO NEAR THE STUFF UNTIL I AM 100% NOT PREGNANT ANYMORE.

Everything has to be okay. I couldn't live with myself if it weren't.

I was really scared about telling Ax. I took the test home with me to show him. He took the news like a champ. He hugged me and told me everything would be okay. I squalled like a baby. This morning before leaving for work he seemed worried and thoughtful. I told him not to worry. Worrying wouldn't change ANYTHING.

Now my mind is reeling.
My house is too friggin small for this.
I want so desperately to be able to quit my job when the baby is born. I don't wanna use a damned daycare. God, please. This happening so soon isn't going to help any. Hello, God.
How do I go about telling people this?
I know I'm going to wait until I've been to the doctor to get a confirmation.

I feel like my world has been turned upside down.

2 Comments:

Blogger Lizzle said...

Wow, thats.... WOW.

I'd say congratulations or condolences, but I don't know which really applies here... So I'll stick with a fall-back, "Good luck"

and... WOW

9:47 PM  
Blogger Jenni said...

I do want to be pregnant. It's just a shock. I happier now that I've calmed down. I just wrote that post while my mind was still reeling.
Now the only thing getting to me is waiting to tell everyone. I want to tell the world. But I've decided to wait until after I go to the doctor on Thursday.

10:16 AM  

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