Thursday, May 05, 2005

What time is it anyway???

I'm just waiting for court to start here in about an hour. It is a very small docket so I should get out of here soon. I've had a pretty good day. Getting my paycheck is always an upper. Ax has begun to carry our health insurance so I get that much more now. Ax gripes about having to pay out the money for it. But I ignore him because I've paid it for three years now. It won't kill him.
It's a rather gloomy day outside. My head is ready to explode as a result of boredom. Life is very tedious for a working stiff. I enjoy reading about the lives of celebrities and checking out the pics of their clothes on the red carpets. The snapshots of their glamorous outings in Paris and Rome. Speaking of Paris. How can it be that someone who is so obviously empty-headed be so famous. Ignorant and immoral. Those are the two words that describe her. However I must digress. Paris fascinates me. I am ashamed to admit it. It's a strange phenomena. In part Paris repulses me. However another part of me loves to see what she's going to do next or wear next. Paris is definitely beautiful and she lives the glitzy life that I could only dream of. I can't image having that kind of fame and recognition. However I understand I would bear a great sense of responsibility were I to be in such a situation. The money, the image, and the influence would empower an intelligent person to undertake many important causes. An intelligent person with any sort of decency and concern for the world around them would desire to do some good with all that they had been blessed with. But not Paris Hilton or most of the extremely privledged. The entire thought processes is perplexing. If I woke up tomorrow morning and had everything that Paris Hilton has, except for the bad reputation, what would I do with myself and my unlimited resources? Now there's a heck of brain teaser.
On the other hand a person could look at the situation from a more realistic and personal perspective. If I were poor, uneducated, destitue, hopeless, and faithless and woke up tomorrow with everything that I have and all that I'm blessed with being, what would I do with myself? Ooooohhhh, now I'm thinking. But you know, I can already identify a huge problem with being able do too much good. My husband. While he is wonderful in more ways than I could ever describe, he is also spoiled and selfish. Ax does not like for me to spend time away from him. He is the reason I gave up teaching Sunday school. While I know I could've been stronger about my desires to continue teaching, I allowed him to influence me. I regret that. I have since also wanted to volunteer as a mediator through Juvenile Court. Once again he was very adamantly opposed. I need to stop thinking about all of this. It's rather sad and depressing.

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