Friday, June 17, 2005

What a joke...

When will I wake up and be satisfied with my life? Cuz it ain't today. I am so uneasy and twitchy and aggravated. My co-worker is gone and that kinda depresses me. To work alone with no one to talk to. And Ax is really upsetting me. I want to take a short weekend trip for my birthday in August. Of course the only issue that ever decides any thing in his life is money. Not happiness, love, or family. Only dollar signs. I HATE this about him. I want to be smart with my money but I WILL NOT let it rule me life. So long as I'm working and have a job and good health everything else will fall into place. Obviously so long as I don't do anything blatantly foolish, which I am not going to do. Ax just absolutely deflates my hopes and wishes and the little things I want to look forward to. All he looks forward to is seeing how many meager dollars we are able to accumulate in our savings account. Life is very depressing. I could cry to think of all the beautiful places and experiences on this planet that I will never know of or see. The internet and mass media have burdened people like myself with the wealth of information available. It only allows me to know of places and dream dreams that will never be fulfilled. I might be better off to never know what I'm missing.

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