Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Admitting a Bit of Anxiety

On Thursday we find out if the baby is a boy or a girl. Ax has said all along he wants a boy. Whenever we talk about the baby he says, "It's a boy. I've put the stem on the apple." While this is a bit amusing, it's made me a bit anxious. I have always responded to him that it might be a girl. He's always sweet and says that'll be good too, but says he knows it's a boy. Well, I'm feeling some anxiety because of this. I would love a daughter. I would love a son too. I'd love to give Ax what he wants. It's just not up to me. This has put a slight bit of dread into me about Thursday. Is that awful? I want to know if it's a boy or girl. I will be joyful if the room is done in pink or shades of blue. (Yes we're stereotypical.) It's just Ax. I love him dearly. I guess there's a burden here. I have a desire to make him happy. I understand that it's a faux pas to admit this. It's just inside me and I can't ignore it. Ax means the world to me. I realize I'm not in control here. Life will go on regardless. It's just that it's clouded my sky some. Otherwise it will be a bright, happy day.

5 Comments:

Blogger meghansdiscontent said...

Oh, girl, he will love a girl just as much.
And it's fine to admit you want to please Ax. It's part of love!!! You want to make the person you're with happy. Don't let this darken your day. Boy or girl, it will be yours . . together.

6:11 AM  
Blogger Lizzle said...

Well, from a physiological standpoint, he is the one responsible for the sex of the baby... so if it's a girl, he did it to himself!

9:08 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I wanted a boy, too. Got a girl. Girls are much more fun, and they don't pee on you when you change their diapers.

9:35 AM  
Blogger Jenni said...

Meghan, It won't darken my day. I just hope when we hear the news, if it's a girl, he says, "Wonderful! I really wanted a girl. I was only kidding about a boy!" Of course, if it's a boy he can hoot and holler all day long.
Liz, You are exactly right! I told him that very thing!
The fool, I think a girl would be fabulous. I am fabulous. The girls that read my blog are fabulous!

12:52 PM  
Blogger Sarah said...

Liz already said what I was going to say, but I love the "stem on the apple" comment!

1:17 PM  

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