Monday, May 19, 2008

Hey Grover, Count This Penny

Wyatt has a video where this little kid has a penny and holds it out to Grover and tells him to count it. Too cute. But it's becoming my financial situation lately. Damn gas prices. All those fat cats on capital hill should really be ashamed.
By the way...did you know that it is my opinion that Grover is the Sesame Street character that is on crack. He's insane.
We are currently waiting on the "stimulus" check for some monetary relief. A swing set, a little cabin vacation, and a few other things. Oh yeah, and getting the checking account balance back up over $20 is something we' re looking forward to.

Friday, May 09, 2008

The Circus...

Funerals are boring. Well, unless you bring Wyatt with you. He started his jabbering as soon as everything got really quiet. Then he started pitching a mega fit to be let down. My cousin Mandi took him out of the chapel. I love Mandi, she is so cool. And unique.

Mandi's idea of dressing nicely for a funeral is wearing her extra baggy jeans without the holes in them. Her idea of feminine is an XXL "pink" polo shirt. She is a big girl but her clothes make her look even bigger. Never a bit of make-up. Hair always combed back in a ponytail. There have been rumors that she is gay. But she never talks about it one way or the other. Whatever. I heart cousin Mandi.

It was my great-grandmother that passed away. Natural causes at the ripe old age of 98. She was a sassy one. I wasn't really close to her. But it's still sad when people die. I think hospice helps speed up the grand finale with morphine. But anyway..."Mommie" is what the family called her. She was a petite little woman with decent looks. But her kids?! Damn!! You've never seen such a genetic pile of steaming crap! Those are some uuuugly mugs. Craggy skin, overweight, coarse hair on those who have it. And throw in the occasional retard. I kid you not. Thank God my dad married my mom who has fabulous genes and passed them all to me. I have no resemblance to that group of goblins. If I stand next to my dad, who is quite handsome, you can tell we are related. But that is the extent of it. My dad got some decent genes out it. But his aunts and uncles....the stuff of seriously unfortunate breeding. The women have craggy skin and masculine features. The men, no description will describe them accurately.

I'm wonderfully glad that circus is over.

Monday, May 05, 2008

I Got Skills, Ya'll

Don't be intimidated. Somebody's got set the bar.
Some stuff I did this weekend:

1. Played wiffle ball and hit the ball TWICE. This is an accomplishment for someone so grossly uncoordinated. I can't play softball worth a crap because I can't hit the ball hard enough to get it past the pitcher. But I can hit a MEAN wiffle ball, though! Go me.

2. Looked at a bird feeder hanging from my friends porch and said something about how messy those little birdies are and then walked right into the damn thing. Got birdseed in my hair. Not so cool.

3. Set out loads of stuff on Saturday morning with my hubby, Ax, for a yard sale. Hoping those black moisture soaked clouds would pass us by. such luck. We were set up for about all of 10 minutes and then had to start doing marathons from the front of the house to the car port around back to get everything out of the torrential rain. Yep, we're geniuses.

4. Had the yard sale Sunday and did fairly decently. I'm so cool that I was able to sell a burnt up spatula amongst a box of crap that my mother-in-law brought for $0.10!!

5. Worked at the church nursery Sunday morning and diffused a meltdown situation with a 3 year old. Woo hoo. What else is there to do in life? Well, a lot I think.

Thursday, May 01, 2008

The comment I would never leave... did a post on April 28th that I'm still trying to put into a complete perspective. It was all about how much happier she is staying home more and all the comments agreed. I was too polite to leave my comment:

I HATE staying at home all the time. I want somewhere to go EVERY DAY. I despise having an open ended day of screaming "NO!" and "Come on sweetie, lets change your diaper". Loads of laundry, loads of dishes, and scattered toys DO NOT give me fulfillment. How in the hell does your friggin cross-stitch or whatever that heck that is you showed a picture of do that for you?!! I am not crafty, I don't sew, I can't draw, sing, or stitch. I don't have the patience for it. I think you people are freaks for being happy inside that one structure all day long. I want a nanny to watch my kid and a place free of snot noses to spend my day. Now, with all that out in the open, you wanna babysit for me so I can run around and be happy while you stay at home with the kiddies? Yes, I'll be happy to pay you.

Wow, I feel relieved after getting that out. It's just honesty. Pure and simple. But if I'd have typed that on her site those women would have made me out to be evil. And I'm not. Never mind these devil horns protruding from my forehead. They're misleading. I promise.