Hostility

I have worked my entire life. If not at being good in school, then at an actual workplace. I've been here at my current job for almost 7 years. I feel an attachment to the place. I've loved my job, my boss, everything about it. However it seems my affection is one sided. This place has seemed more that a little hostile towards me in regard to policy throughout this. It's made me feel like I'm asking for special treatment and doing something I shouldn't. I realize that I may be a bit over emotional these days so it is hard for me to separate what may be hormones from what may be an actual wrong committed. Regardless of it being hormones or not I can't help but feel pretty rotten. I have annual leave built up that should allow me leave early throughout the week. If I leave at 1 o'clock every day I have enough leave to compensate for the unworked 15 hours per week to equal the pay for 40 hours. However my supervisor told me today that he needed to check to see if such arrangements were allowed. It would be considered abuse of some sort were it not for my very obvious condition.
My desire is to continue to work half days for as long as I can. However the feedback that I'm receiving from this place is contrary to my own needs. I enjoy having a place to come to each day, to help fill the time, to feel productive. I know that I am helpful here. It's just really difficult to feel so shamed by the administration. I would have never thought in a million years that I'd be feeling this way here. It's like a bad dream. A heartbreaking bad dream. I have always felt that this place made me feel secure and that the people I worked with and administration felt a mutual appreciation for not only the way I do my job but also the person I am. It seems I have been sadly wrong.

On Work and Vices

I have come to appreciate work more. It's such a good thing that I don't have to sit at home all day. It would drive me insane. What do people do all day who stay at home?? Honestly. I don't mean to sound sarcastic or hateful, just sincerely inquisitive. All there is to do is flip TV channels or maybe read a book. A load of laundry? Wow, all that exciting stuff. I know that when Wyatt gets here I'll have plenty to do. It's just between now and then that I may have to deal with.


Vices...
We all have our hang ups. Those pleasures that we can't deny ourselves. The things that we know we should set aside but for lack of self control, we allow them to take us over. I've just been discussing with my co-worker, Johnnie, about her mother. (I love Johnnie's name by the way, she is fabulous.) Johnnie's mom has emphysema and can't stop smoking. It made me think of my own mother. She is over weight and has battled it her whole life. She just can't seem to get the weight off and keep it off. My mother is beautiful. Taking off the weight with her would be much more for health reasons than for vanity. She certainly has no self esteem issues. It's just that I know that women her size don't generally live into their 80's. But I want my mom to. I can't imagine a day without her.

One For The Books...

Oh my goodness. This one is such a mind blower that I've got to remove my carpal tunnel brace to type it out. Yep, it's a whopper. I need to have full use of the hands and digits to get it spelled out. Spelled out for the astonishment of the blog world.
This is one for the books. I don't know which set of books. It would certainly be a book about the dumbest things that people do.
Here at the clerk's office there is a kid who was convicted of Possession of Marijuana. He is only 17 years old. Kelley is his name and he has no job. He lives with his mom and supposedly attends GED classes during the evening. Well, if he's going...he isn't learning much. Kelley was sentenced to perform a month of community service for the City. This sentencing was given due to the fact that he is unemployed and depends on his mother for transportation. The very high fine that Possession of Marijuana carries would've been more of a punishment to her than her rotten kid. However now I've begun to think that maybe the woman is just a big an idiot as her son.
Kelley came to perform his community service today. He is a handsome young man. His mother is lily white and leaves one to guess that his father is likely black. At first sight of his good looks you want to think that maybe he's just made a mistake and has some potential in this life. Possibly not so.
While Kelley is working he wears an orange shirt over his own that says "Trustee" on it. Maybe it's a bad idea that anything attached to Kelley has the word "trust" in it. After working, while waiting for his ride, he stopped by the office. His orange shirt had been removed. We could plainly see his t-shirt. It had pot leaves all over and the letters "U P S". I don't really know exactly what that stood for but I got the general idea. We expressed our dislike of this and strongly encouraged that he refrain from sporting such attire in the future at the PD. We asked if his mother had seen his shirt. He said yes. Possibly she is a moron. Possibly he is a liar.
Is there a more obvious way for Kelley to have given us all the finger and a big "F.U."?? That is besides walking in with a big sign or possibly working while stashing a joint behind his ear???



Side note: A lady came to pay a ticket today and told me that I looked as though I am "about to POP". Thanks lady. I'm glad you think I look like a fat cow.

I want to go to Australia

I just got off the phone with a lady who had an Australian accent. It was entirely lovely to speak with her for no other reason than to listen to her voice. It made me realize that too many people around here sound like such hicks. That probably includes me! It also made me realize that the stupid companies who are selling out and moving their call centers to other countries should totally move them to Australia. It would make me happy. And you know? It's ALL about me. *clears throat* Yeah right.

So here I am, attempting to do my best to type while wearing a carpal tunnel brace on my right hand. For the past two nights (before last night, that is) my right hand and arm from the elbow down would hurt pretty badly during the night and wake me up. My fingers would be numb and feel horrible! So I called the doctors office for advice. They suggested a brace that could be bought at any pharmacy. I had no idea the braces were so convenient to buy. I honestly thought that they had to procured from the doctor.Yes, I am an idiot. But now I am an idiot whose right hand feels wonderfully better. The brace has already made a significant difference after only one night. So guess who got some sleep and is happy? Me!

I have a triple baby shower to attend today at Ax's office. Three of the guys wives are expecting. Myself and the other two chicks are all pretty good friends. I think it will be fun. While I must admit that the idea of a triple baby shower is a bit awkward, hopefully we'll make it work.

33 1/2 Weeks

I'm extremely happy to note that I've had an uneventful pregnancy overall. No complications of any sort. Just the occasional swelling of the feet and little of the fingers but nothing fearful or entirely uncomfortable. I must confess that I would undertake any discomfort or difficulty to ensure that Wyatt is a healthy baby. My imagination and pessimism intertwine at times to make me worry that an easy pregnancy is a prelude to a worrisome result. I just have to lean on my faith and prayers to take me through my doubts. Worrying is useless.

My belly is huge now. I feel Wyatt move A LOT. I'm thankful for each kick and roll. It has become a bit difficult to get up from lying down. Reclining in any sort of chair isn't conducive to easy breathing. I need more rest and sleep these days. I tire easily and my feet hurt from walking for too long. It seems as though the next few weeks will be the longest of my life. I'm hoping to work until September 1st. That just seems really damn tough for some reason. Then again I honestly think I'd go CRAZY sitting at home all day. I've had somewhere to be every weekday for my entire life. So now I'm just supposed to blissfully prop my feet up all day long? Okay wait a minute, that doesn't sound so bad after all =) The doctor says I'm due September 22nd. It's just hard to believe that I'll go that long. I think it'll be more like the second week in September. I really need to interject here that being pregnant is an absolutely amazing experience. It's not ALL roses, but there have been plenty of them along the way. Knowing that I'll have my very own child at the end of this ride completely blows me away. It's an absolute miracle to conceive, carry, and give birth to a child. I admit that while the third stage of that description is foreign to me at this point, how can it not be an amazing experience?

At my last doctor's visit the doctor sent me home with a packet of papers I'm supposed to keep with me at all times in case I go into LABOR. Ummm....okay, did someone just say the 'L' word??? You all may already be aware that I'm a tad freaked out about that. But I'll manage. After all, I have been skydiving before. Surely I can do this too. There are similarities between skydiving and giving birth, right? Who am I kidding? I'll go into this blissfully blind and come through it one way or another.

Happy Birthday to Me, to Me!!!

Today I am 29 years ooooold. Yes, 29 is ancient! Though I am happy to be here. It seems that as the number I associate with my age grows, my mind has a tougher time comprehending a few things. In my youth I thought of any number higher than 27 as being one foot in the grave. It's amusing to remember those old thoughts. It seems I must redefine what it means to me to be young and what it means to be old. To be young is to have beauty and happiness in your life. A youthful person enjoys something new about each day. An old person no longer enjoys life and sees nothing positive to find happiness in. Guess I'll be young forever. Maybe 29 isn't too bad after all.
When I was a teenager, life was grand. The world was at my fingertips. Gimme good times and a party.
In my 20's I had goals to achieve. I basically knew what I wanted and worked toward obtaining some sort of status in this life.
In my mid and late 20's I began to understand just what it is that I want most out of life. Not a career. Not a big house, fancy car, or fat bank account. I want to increase the love in my life. Life is nothing without love. I want to strengthen my love of God, my love of family. I want a family of my own. It's a magnificent blessing to have a little baby on the way to begin that love with.