Friday, December 30, 2005

Exercise in Self Control

I walked into the Subway sandwich shop last night at about 7 p.m. As I entered the shop I first noticed that the floor was wet. A glance to the left educated me as to why. "It" was mopping the floor. I was then greeted by "it". (An "it" is an individual whose gender can not be determined.) "It" said hello to me in a level tone that gave no indication of whether or not "it" had a Mr. Winkie or not. "It" was thick around the middle with a loose shirt on. The shirt either served to hide male fat rolls or to camouflage female boobies. "It" also had short, dark curly hair, dark skin, and was sporting quite a hair lip. That last physical trait really helped add to my confusion. I began to ponder these physical traits as I slowly walked to the sandwich counter. I thought surely! NO self-respecting female would EVER look in the mirror, seeing such hair above the lip, and EVER be seen in public. My thoughts were proved wrong.
It seems as though my entrance interrupted a very important and lively conversation between "it" and a lady whose name tag identified her as "Linda", who was behind the counter. "It" was identified as Carla during the course of the conversation. Unfortunately I was subjected to many more details of Carla's life than anyone seeking a mere sandwich should ever be. It must also be noted that while I stood there, being the ONLY customer in the store, Linda continued to talk to Carla while moving at the pace of a tortoise and the mental speed of a dodo bird.
Linda inquired as to which type of bread I wanted, then informed they were out of it. I chose another and told her I wanted a turkey sandwich. Linda opened the bread and placed my selection of cheese on the bread. Linda continued talking to Carla during this time. Evidently the task of talking AND making a sandwich simultaneously was too taxing on Linda's cognitive abilities. Linda then looks down at my sandwich, which has no meat on it at this point, and asks me what toppings I'd like on it.
Now, while it may suprise you, I am not a sandwich artist or expert. However, I am familiar with the highly evolved custom of Subway sandwich creation. This extremely sophisticated scheme goes: cheese, meat, toppings. Intense complexity is obviously involved. I'm sure Subway employees are trained extensively on the vast importance of this chain of sandwich creating events. However it was at this point that Linda looks up at me with two blank eyes and asks, "What kind of sandwich was this again?"
This question was posed to me after standing there for no less than 15 minutes listening to Carla's stock market tips and political stances. Okay, that's a lie. I might've been amused by that type of conversation. I was actually listening to what Carla had to drink while she was in the hospital. (What the?!!!) Unfortunately I also learned why Carla is so "thick". She doesn't eat 'real' food. She goes to the store and buys junk food and that's all she eats. Aren't you all glad to know that? Boy, I sure am. How could I have gone through the rest of my life not knowing all about Carla's hospital escapades and dietary habits??!!! Gosh. What a dark exsistence I'd have without that enlightenment. I also learned how much Linda and Carla make an hour and how long each had worked there.
As Linda's question reached my ears I realize that this was a test. It must surely be. Would I pass, or fail miserably? This was a test of my quality as a human being. How would I respond? With all the sarcasm and clenched teeth that were boiling inside me? Or with a calm smile and cheerful answer? As the clock ticked by and I had now been in the company of Linda and Carla for 30 minutes longer than anyone should ever be forced to endure I answered Linda's question. "Turkey" I said with a straight face whilst searching her eyes for some hint of intelligence. Well, as you can guess, the search came up short. Very short.
Finally after paying for my sandwich and wondering why I was paying them, when indeed I should have been paid for my wasted time, I left the Subway. As I stepped outside outside into the cool air I had a renewed sense of self and purpose. Okay, not really. I was just pretty damned glad THAT was over with.

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

5 Things I Hate about My Mother-in-law

1) She is a Jehovah's Witness. This is a weird cult that has weird beliefs about Jesus and celebrates NO holidays. STAY AWAY!!
2) She is very pessimistic. Example: "The leaves are all going to turn brown this year and fall off the trees without turning colors." mental response to this is, "Okay, then why don't you go lock yourself in your room and don't come out until spring."
3) She is very prickly and has a sharp tongue. Her humor is dry is as dry as her wit. Wanda love, LOVE, LOVES to argue.
4) Complaining is her favorite hobby. She is on dialysis and I sympathize with the medical situation but outside of that her favorite thing to complain about is never having time to do anything. She dializes three days a week for four hours at a time. On the other two days she watches her grandchild. She is constantly complaining that she has no time to go shopping. GET A 40 HOUR A WEEK JOB AND SEE WHAT TIME YOU HAVE LEFT. SHUT UP!!
5) She is mean to my father-in-law. JK is a sweet man. He does anything she asks of him. Wanda is a hateful bitch to him who snaps at him and calls him stupid. There are times when I want to smack the effing crap out of her.

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Looking Forward to New Year's

I know I've earned a celebration this New Years! Who hasn't?! We've made it thru 2005! I want to let my hair down and cut a rug on New Year's Eve! Ax and I are supposed to go out with Tom and Sandy. I just hope we can all agree on a place to go.

Christmas with my family was wonderful/tiring. My family can make a sane person insane in 2.3 seconds. No kidding.

Ax's family gathering was LOUD. There were at least 35 to 40 people there.

Things I did this holiday:
1) Stuck my foot in my mouth two times. It would've been better if this were literal. The taste of a rubber sole would be sweeter that some of the things I said to people.
2) Stuffed my fat face with delicious food.
3) Argued with my Mother In Law about religion (she's a nutty Jehovah's Witness)
4) Opened all my presents with Ax on Friday night because we couldn't wait.
5) Watched eighty million Simpson's episodes (bought Ax Season 7).
6) Gossiped about my Crazy Aunt Jackie with the family.
7) Laughed my butt off when I heard that my dad was giving a car cleaning gift certificate to his parents because he had to borrow their car and it was the nastiest vehicle he'd ever seen.
8) Sat in traffic for an hour on Christmas Eve because a tractor trailer dumped carpet all over the freeway.
9) Said Grace for my family's Christmas Eve dinner.
10) Fought with my brother because of #1.

Sounds like a hell of time doesn't it?!!!

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Early Christmas Present

Saturday night Ax and I stopped by a friends house for a Christmas Party. We knocked on the door and it was answered by Daniel, a guy Ax works with. We were shown to the kitchen area where various foods were displayed. The hostess was no where to be seen and was not introduced. We weren't told were the plates were and drinks weren't mentioned.

My conundrum with this situation revolved around the hostess. Whenever people enter my home, especially for a festive gathering, I ALWAYS greet them. Where was this chick hiding? Most women know without doubt that the lady of the house is the one who says, "Honey, lets have a party" and then she is the one who prepares the food, cleans the house, etc. Obviously I understand that there are always exceptions to every rule. But not here. The only time I spoke to the hostess was to ask where the loo was. Then later, we said goodbye.
Overall, the party was quite nice. I was just disappointed in the skills of the hostess. I would have liked to talk to her. She had a beautiful home. I'd have told her that.

We left the party and I had a headache that could've killed a horse. It was terrible.

All I wanted to do was crawl under some blankets and tune out the world. But Ax had other plans. He decided that he just HAD to give me my best Christmas present. It was really sweet of him. So I put on my smile and opened it up. It's a beautiful white gold butterfly charm with tiny little diamonds all over it hanging from a smooth white gold chain. Ax is very thoughtful and sweet. I love him dearly. I love my new butterfly necklace dearly too. It's sparkly and pretty.

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Things I HATE

1) PANTYHOSE....May the inventor of this horrid creation be tarred and feathered! Pantyhose are my bane **put hand on forehead and tilt head back a bit while dramatically speaking**. They are itchy and never, ever stay in the right place.

2) HAIRSPRAY....It is sticky, sticky, sticky. It seems to get all over my skin as well as the bathroom when I use it. And god forbid it rain when you have hairspray in your hair...yuck!!

3) PORKRINDS AND SAUERKRAUT...How can anyone, ever, allow these so called foods into their mouths?!!! Nasty.

4) PEOPLE WHO CALL ME SWEETHEART THAT AREN'T MY GRANNY OR OLD ENOUGH TO BE HER...What's up with that?! You don't know me, I ain't your sweetheart.

5) PEOPLE WHO ASK ME IF I'M OKAY BECAUSE MY VOICE IS SQUEAKING...Okay, confession time. I have a squeaky voice. It's not the most horribly squeaky voice. I speak rather normally most of the time. However if I am stressed or trying to speak loudly.... I SQUEAK. Making a cell phone call and trying to talk loudly, ordering at a drive thru, if I get excited, they all make me squeak. I hate this flaw of mine with a burning passion. If I had a nickel for everytime someone asked me if I was okay, or if I had a cold because of my voice I'd be RICH! So rich I could punch them in the nose and afford all the legal problems and lawsuits that would result. My youngest brother is the ONLY person I would let slide with the offense.

6) PREVIEWING CD'S WITH AX... When he gets a new CD he won't just pop it in and let it play. He has to listen to the first minute of a song, get me to enjoy it...i.e. sing along and clap my hands and stomp my feet...whatever. AND THEN HE CHANGES TO THE NEXT SONG. Says the wants to preview and see what's on it. UGGGGGG.

7) WAL-MART... I hate Wal-Mart with such a flaming passion that it's hard to describe. Yes, the prices are great, but is it really worth my sanity? I think not. It's always too crowded, the lines are too long, and it never fails that you will see the most horrid fashion crimes and mullets while trapped there.

8) MOST 80'S MUSIC... The synthesized crap. HATE IT, HATE IT, HATE IT.

9) UPC'S THAT WON'T RING UP... I am a magnet for them. While out shopping this weekend, at Sears, out of around 12 items there were THREE of them that would not ring up. And the cashier NEVER, EVER believes you when you tell her the price (that is when the computer won't ever recognize the fifty-gazillion numbers she had to type in twice). So a price check is done and your truthfulness is acknowledged. Thanks Ms. Retarded White-trash cashier. I really needed your affirmation of my morality. (Crazy...yes, Weird...sometimes, Liar...NEVER)

10) LOSING THINGS... I HATE to lose things. Even little things some would consider insignificant. Like a list I made, or a piece of mail that I was going to throw away...It doesn't matter....I had it...I want to know where it is!!!

Friday, December 16, 2005

A Little Chicken Part II

The third and final time I got the everloving crappola scared out of me on Thursday nite went like this:
I had gone to bed while Ax stayed up in the living room watching TV. At around 1 a.m. I realized he had not come to bet yet. I thought he had probably fallen asleep in the living room watching a DVD.
The bedroom was pitchblack dark and all was quiet.
The house was silent as a tomb.

I got up and went to tinkle. I then went around the corner to open the bedroom door to go get Ax. As I pulled open the bedroom door and looked straight ahead, there were a pair of eyes staring at me! There Ax stood! In darkness, like a shadow. He was just looking at me, not saying anything. I think I jumped ten feet into the air. My heart pounded and all I could say was, "Oh My God, Oh My God".
He said he was sorry but it wasn't quite enough to cure my near stroke.

Good thing I've held off on those karate lessons. Otherwise he'd have been in for it.

Chicken Little or a Little Chicken

Yesterday was fairly normal for a court day here in this little town. However it was an exceptional day in that I got the bejeebees scared out of me THREE times yesterday. This must surely be an all time record for me. I'm not normally what one would consider jumpy or squirrelly.
The first time I jumped outta my skin was when I was in the back part of our office where some file cabinets are located. Our kitchen area is also there. There is a door there that leads to an enclosed outside area. This building was at one time a mental health facility. The city purchased it and turned it into City Hall, the PD, and the Clerk's office. The outdoor area is actually an unused, crusty pool area. However it is now used by various police officers and attorneys on court night to go out and smoke a cigarette. All was quiet and I had no idea that anyone had gone out the door to smoke. There I was, minding my own beeswax, when suddenly the door is thrown open and in stomps one of the officers. It must be mentioned that while he is very unattractive, he is in no way frightening. But as far I was concerned it could've been and ax murderer. My heart jumped into my throat! Boy did he ever catch me off guard. I sucked in waaay too much air. I spun around whilst clutching my chest and breathily informed him that he had nearly scared me to death and was almost Kung Fooed. (Insert wild chopping motions and "Waaaa Waaaa" sounds.) He laughed. Evidently my threat of Kung Fooing someone isn't as meaningful as it should be. I'll have to work on that.
After I recovered from this awful fright the day continued on. My next near heart attack occurred after court was over. It was dark and cold outside. I went to my car and started it to let it warm up. I had very little visibility out of any of the windows while the car heated because of the rain. I began to hear noises next to my car and see someone nearby. My heart jumped and I felt my body tense. I immediately looked to see if my doors were locked. At times I can have a wild imagination. I don't think anyone would ever linger after court to try to murder me, but who knows? Like I said in the previous post I've been known to assist in making judgments. I looked out my window as best as I could to see who was there. I realized that it was one of the detectives going to his own car. I made a mental note to smack him the next time I saw him.
The third near heart attack warrants a separate post. Hopefully I won't be any worse for the wear as a result of these incidents. I'm sure I'll be fine. Just gotta stop being so jumpy. Either that or learn karate. Yeah, that would be fun. Karate chopping the people who scare me. Except that after the third incident Ax would now be deceased.

Thursday, December 15, 2005


There is a judge (JN) here in our little municipal court whose mind is deteriorating. He is a sweet man but his memory is utter crap. When I sit on the court bench with him this judge will actually ask me....yes ME...what he should do with various cases. Due to my decisive and outspoken nature I give him an answer. However it's very obvious that a clerk should NOT be telling the judge what to do. It is honestly a bit embarrassing and obviously unprofessional. While we are a small and informal court, I certainly do not want to appear "po-dunk" as they say. Meaning a small town with small minds. It's just that JN is so very clueless. Sweet but clueless. One of his favorite things to do is obsess over when payday is. We clerks do not believe that he is poor. He doesn't look it or live it. We have come to hypothesize that he must want to get the money before his wife does. He will call repeatedly to ask when payday is and to remind us to hold his check for him to pick up. After about the third conversation regarding this topic I begin to become aggravated to put it mildly. Anyone within earshot can clearly learn my opinion of him and his mental deterioration. JN can also NEVER remember his court dates. We have court twice a month. He holds only one of those courts. He will call three or four times a week asking when he holds court next. I kid you not. It's only a matter of time before his mental condition begins to manifest itself more boldly. Somethings gotta give, otherwise I may strangle him.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Breakfast Woes

On my way to work this morning I decided with much passion that I neeeeded breakfast from Hardee's. There were no cars waiting in the drive-thru so I thought it would be a quick trip and I'd get to work in time. After those little thoughts were thunk the breakfast gods began to laugh uproariously. It seems as though the sub-IQ having ladies working the drive-thru were functioning well enough until I drove up. It seems my order of the Combo #3 completely befuddled them...ALL. As I sat there waiting I saw no less than FOUR plump young ladies looking into each of the bags discussing their contents. The drive-thru window was open a bit and I could hear them all wondering what in the world of breakfast foods is in this bag? or that bag? One bag in particular really threw them all for a loop. Nevermind that I was waiting and as the clock ticked the minutes by I would've gladly accepted ANYTHING handed to me just so I could continue my commute. Why in the name of breakfast did they all decide they were retarded at the precise minute I pulled up? Only Buddah knows.

My Favorite Things

1) My favorite Christmas song is Happy Christmas by John Lennon. I've always loved the song. I think I'll make Ax buy it for me.
2) I love butterflies. The aquarium in Chattanooga has an area for butterflies. It is my favorite place in the whole aquarium. They are so wonderfully beautiful.
3) One of my favorite movies, ever, is Somewhere in Time. Christopher Reeve and Jane Seymour starred in it.
4) I love to cook. I enjoy trying new recipes and inventing my own. I love to feed a crowd. I love to entertain guests in my house and have lots of tasty goodies for them to eat.
5) I love the Antiques Roadshow. It fascinates me how people have the most amazing treasures hiding in their homes and attics. I can't get enough of the Antiques Roadshow.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

The Future..

The lovely Meghan (thinkingsilentlyaloud) got the wheels of my mind turning with her question about my reproductive endeavors. How would Ax seriously react to me telling him he's gonna be a papa? I honestly wonder if he will pass out. Seriously. I have only seen him pass out around needles and hospitals. But this would certainly be a shocker. Truth be told, I wonder how I will react when I find out. I know people deal with it everyday. I just know it will shake up my life and Ax's too. We have, just like plenty of others, fallen into our routine. We don't like disruptions, generally. Hopefully this will be an exception.
Another shockingly honest point is that both Ax and I cringe with deep aggravation when children are unruly in movie theaters and restaurants. We went to see The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe this past Saturday. Before the movie was to is halfway point I knew all the kids names on the row behind me because they kept talking very loudly to one another. And the littlest one, directly behind me, kept kicking the back of my seat. I wanted to smack all of them, very hard, whilst screaming my opinions about them and their guardians. So based on this information about Ax and I, one can only wonder about how we will be as prospective parents. Hmmmm.
I know my prospects are much brighter than Ax's. I love kids. That opinion could be because I haven't been tainted by having to work with them or spend large amounts of time around them. I think my house is empty without them. Ax on the other hand can be a bit of a big kid himself. I can totally see him being jealous of my time with anyone else including a baby.
I must also mention my fears of being fat forever if gain weight during pregnancy. I'm already a size 18 and that is very good for me. Getting bigger for anything other than a baby is not an option. Sleep deprivation is also a fear. Honestly though, I'll be happy to face the challenges for the rewards.

Monday, December 12, 2005

It's all about Me

5 things about me that most people don't know:

1) I always want cake and sweets for breakfast. When I wake up in the morning I have to fight the urge to eat any leftover cake or candy lying around. I have no idea why.

2) I feel guilty for my foul mouth. I wish I could stop using bad language but it just seems to perfectly express what I'm trying to convey. I hope that my foul mouth never ever discredits my faith to anyone, anywhere, at anytime. See, I'm resolving to stop again, right now dammit.

3) When I was a child I had many, many dolls in my room. And like a favorite blogger I read (Green Canary) I too thought they were watching me. I would actually whisper "Good night." to them because I thought they'd be mad if I didn't. .......Yes, scary I know. It was that stupid movie "The Puppet Master" that caused it all.

4) If my life were perfect and my world was everything I wanted it to be, I 'd have at least three kids. I would also quit my job to stay home with them. I hope I get to have at least two.

5) I am absolutely fascinated by ghosts, spirits, aliens, and angels. I love to read about them all and watch television shows about them. However I am quite certain that if I were to ever encounter any of them I would certainly stroke out.

Friday, December 09, 2005

The Little People

Court was interesting last night. It's amazing how far someone's eyes can bulge out of their head when they hear the horribly high fines they will have to pay for shoplifting. Do the crime, pay the fine, or do the the time. Take your pick.

We had a couple come up before the judge last night that had been caught getting their freak on in a car behind a business. How humiliating! But evidently they weren't bothered by their indiscretion. They marched right up into court and entered a plea of guilty. She was decent looking, he was frankenstein ugly. Fareeeeks!! They had the option of paying the fine and being excused from court. But oh no, they wanted to make a proud public appearance.

It's obvious from the mention of how taken aback by the boldness of the neck-ud couple it just how small and backward this town is. I suppose on that note I'd have to be thankful for how different we are from larger, metropolitan areas. We don't want any of that big city freakiness.

Another thing last night that came to the forefront of my cranial region was how truly simple minded the greater portion of the population seems to be. Even the wisest and most worldly person is never as savy as they'd like themselves to be. I began to wonder how God really views mankind and how little we all seem to him. For example, a child who is confident and serene is his own world and thinks all is well inside his "box". Yet you as an adult realize that there is so very much more that this child does not know. The child understands to a certain extent that his well being depends upon his parent but just how aware is he? At the same time adults understand very keenly what lies outside the safety of the child's world. It must be the same way for God. We are all His children. Here we live, inside our world, thinking we are secure and aware of everything. I am aware that I must rely on God for my needs and well being. Yet so many people have no understanding of this. The world is so much bigger that I am. I can not imagine navigating what little portion I live in without the guidance of God. I pray that people who don't know God find him. At the very least I joyfully realize that my own insecurity is dwarfed by my faith.
1 John 4:4You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Nothing is DUMBER than this

Dumb thing #1. Ax brought in the mail. In the mail was a Christmas card from our neighbor that had been mailed with a 37 cent stamp, delivered via the US Postal Service. This neighbor, Teresa, lives about 30 feet from my back door. Is that not the dumbest thing ever?! I would've thought that she'd have taken the personal delivery opportunity to stalk Ax and corner him with news of her newest beau.
Dumb thing #2. Ax has been sick the past few days. He has a cough, sinus thing going on. He acts like a mega whiny baby, but that's beside the point. He gets up at all hours of the night, repeatedly to cough and hack and spit and blow his honker. He sounds like a friggin' elephant. He got up last night and went into the living room and proceeded to watch TV with the sound up too loud. The boom boom of the base kept me awake. The really dumb thing happened when Ax decided that he was going to get on the internet. We have the horrible dial-up. Ax couldn't get the phone to work so he came into the bedroom at around 4 am to wake me up and ask me why the phone wouldn't work. Alrighty, that does it. That is the dumbest thing EVER. As I'm lying there with sugar plums dancing in my dreams what the heck makes you think I have a clue about what's going on with the stupid phone line?!! We've had problems with it before and I've called the phone company. But does this give me some enlightenment regarding our po-dunk country, hick phone line?!! NO, NO, NO!! Don't wake me up for this. As a matter of fact don't wake me up unless someone is dying. That's right... Dying, About to expire, Croak, Meet their maker, Travel to the other get the picture!!

Tuesday, December 06, 2005


It was supermega (a highly technical term) cold here this morning. To avoid the cold I fed the cats on a paper plate. I so did not want to go outside onto the deck with the bag of crunchy food and can of slimy, stinky wet food and dump it out while the cats tried to bite my fingers. They also try to rush the house as soon as a door is cracked open. I totally can't blame them though. I'd do the same thing if some heartless bum left me out all night and then that warm blast of air hit me when the door opened. The cats also enjoy standing in the exact spot you want to put your foot down on. Amazing, isn't it? I'm trying to walk to feed the little dummies, yet they hinder me by putting their bodies in my footpaths. Could it be that they're subconsciously suicidal? They actually want my big 'ol bootie having self to crunch their kitty skulls. So anyway, I avoided the entire scene by putting the kitty crunch and super-stinky food onto a plate and only opening the deck door to deposit the food. While the little buggers weren't very cooperative, I had to avoid setting the food down directly on their heads. Strange little critters. Blame it all on my roots, I showed up in boots, .....oh wait, sorry, brain fart there. That's not what I meant to say. Further evidence of my mental breakdown.

The next thing I did this morning was to break out the old heavy winter coat. A very attractive gift from my beloved last winter. It's black wool with grey furry trim at the collar and sleeves. I snuggled into it and headed to the office. While strutting my oh so sexy stuff through the office I placed my hands into my pockets. What do I discover? Old, crusty snot rags from runny noses gone by. What a delicious way to start the day.

Today I will deliver gifts I've purchased for foster children. My church has put me in charge of the program. Our local county has a lady that runs a Christmas program for foster kids. I sponsor one child and give my time to shop for gifts. My church also sponsors several children. I receive the name, age, sizes, and wish lists for each child. I spend $100 or close on each of them. This year we've sponsored 6 kids. While that may not sound like much to some folks, it really is A LOT of stuff. My car is loaded down to the max. All the shopping can be a little stressful at times but the rewards are worth it. And while I don't ever get to meet the children I truly hope they enjoy what I've bought for them. I suppose not knowing can be a bit of a blessing itself. I'll never know if one of them opened a gift and started making gagging noises. I'd say that it's possible such a thing has occured. But I will never know. I only dance around like a happy little elf, buying and delivering. Never caring if that teenage girl would never be caught dead in the soft furry white sweater that I bought her. I just do the giving. That's it. Merry Christmas, invisible children!

Monday, December 05, 2005

Spreading the Cheer

Met with some friends Saturday night, Tom and Sandy. After having a few drinks we invited them back to our house (Ax wanted to watch some Beavis and Butthead...yes, I know this is sad). After we'd sat around for awhile Tom proceeded to look at our Christmas tree and ask if we were finished decorating it because he thought it looked naked. Ummmm....okay.....what's up with that?! Don't walk up in my crib and start dissing on my Christmas tree, dog. It's wrong, oh so wrong.

Got my Christmas cards done last night. Contemplated drawing a naked Christmas tree on Tom and Sandy's card. Didn't do it tho. And the fact that I can barely draw a stick man inhibited me a bit.

DO NOT ask me what I want for Christmas, you may not like the answer.

All I want for Christmas is a trip to New York and a $5,000 shopping spree.

I don't ask for much, do I?

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Tis the Season

I love the Christmas music and decorating. I find the season to be jolly and warm. Giving gifts is a joy to me. Of course, receiving them is quite nice too. My childhood memories of Christmas are wonderful. My mother always went the extra mile to make it magical for me and my brothers. The tree is up and all the seasonal decor has been displayed. I love coming home from work and plugging the tree in. It's beautiful. I can't wait to have kids to share in their joy of Christmas.

I believe that the spirit of Christmas is a simple one. The difficulty comes in when we all try to complicate it with excessive buying. I feel as if my husband has bought me too much. At the same time I feel that I'm straining myself to buy more and more for him. If we were filthy rich it might be easier monetarily. However I doubt the stress over going shopping would be any less if a person has go out into the circus of the mall, Kmart or Walmart. I actually find it torturous for several reasons. When I am in a crowded environment where I can not find what I'm looking for it seems as though both my head and body begin to ache. It's really horrible. Ax has made some reasonable Christmas requests that should be easy enough to meet. Oh but NO. Outside of driving a 30 minute distance to the mall, the local Kmart and Walmart that would normally have what I want, are coming up short. Very short. It's made me fall in love with internet shopping. It's heaven to just click, click, click and get what I want at my doorstep. My only gripe is shipping charges, although prices are usually reduced to help cushion the blow. I keenly realize that the relief and my sanity are worth it.
I hope to discuss my desire to return to a more simple Christmas with Ax before the season begins next year. It's seems to humbug and scrooge-like to say anything now. Maybe next year we can both set some limits. And who knows, maybe by then we'll have another little member of our family on the way to encourage us to act differently.