Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Damn Those Automated Phone Systems

I just had to call the bank that handles credit for Circuit City I HATE them. Ax got this account before we were married. Therefore I am not on the account. We paid them off with our tax return a couple of weeks ago. It was a zero balance. Now the jerks have billed us for $6.53 in interest. I called to ask them why the hell they think I owe them money. I went through the automated system that picks up. Which INFURIATES me. Press this button, press that button, put in these numbers, press that number again....on and on and on. FINALLY I get an INDIAN on the phone. WITH A HORRIBLE ACCENT. IS IT SO MUCH TO ASK TO SPEAK TO AN AMERICAN. Dammit you Circuit City jerks. You want my business and my time but you can't employ AN AMERICAN to talk to me?!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And if by some unlikely and remote possibility that this INDIAN is an American, I DON'T GIVE A DAMN. If you've got ANY FOREIGN ACCENT WHEN I WANT TO BITCH AT YOU ABOUT SOMETHING I WANT TO SPEAK TO AN AMERICAN, BORN AND BREAD IN THE UNITED STATES WITH NO MORE THAN A YANKEE ACCENT OR A SOUTHERN TWANG.

The jerk asks me for the account number, the address, phone number, Ax's SSN. WHICH OBVIOUSLY I'M A SERIOUS CROOK TRYING TO VIOLATE YOUR RETARDED ASS PRIVACY LAWS, SO I'VE DONE MY HOMEWORK AND KNOW EVERY BIT OF THIS. And then the SOB proceeds to tell me that he can't speak to me about this account. DEAR GOD, I WANT TO TRAVEL THROUGH THE PHONE AND BITCH SLAP YOU.

*Disclaimer* I do not hate or dislike Indians, generally. Honestly I think most of them are beautiful, intelligent people. Sometimes I kind of like talking to them because their accent can be rather enjoyable. While I have had to work around a few that have stunk to high heavens due to some weird spices they eat, I don't hold that against the masses. This post was just written during a rant of utter frustration and anger. As a matter of fact I know that Indians aren't in any way responsible for the stupid Privacy Law, that would be the dumbasses in Congress. Thankyouverymuch. Have a nice day. Please come again.

Monday, February 27, 2006

Sage Advice

I know you don’t need advice, but I have to say this:

*Enjoy it
*Avoid all stories about bad pregnancy experiences
*Listen to only positive stories and experiences (my experience was totally positive from beginning to end)
*Think only positive thoughts
*Really take advantage of being pregnant
*Don’t let anyone make you feel guilty for sleeping late, eating, or being lazy
*Use the excuse “but I am pregnant” for everything
*Remind others that it is only temporary and that you should not be held responsible for exhibiting the following symptoms:
-Irregular mood swings, various personality disorders, social phobias, curse words and foul language (Tourette ’s syndrome)

These are words of sage advice from my SIL, which is Ax's brother's wife. She is both wise and hilarious. My favorite is the last one!!!

Friday, February 24, 2006


Yesterday I went to the doctor and I HEARD THE BABY'S HEARTBEAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG!!! I am only 10 weeks and she was hesitant to try to hear it because she thought it might upset me if they were unable to locate it. Not to mention that my slight fluffiness might get in the way. I assured the midwife (doc was out delivering a baby) that it wouldn't upset me or hurt my feelings because I've read everything I can and I understand that the heartbeat just may not be strong enough yet. So based on my comment she got the little doppler thingy and greased 'er up and went to moving it around on my lower belly and SHE FOUND IT!!!! I am still amazed and fascinated! The little beanie is alive! And it has a heart!!!!!

They then sent me for an ultrasound, which I called Ax to go to with me. He was also able to hear the heartbeat and see the little beanie kicking and waving at us!!! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT!!!! Ax had to leave after seeing all that, but then they did a trans-vaginal ultrasound. I was able to see the brain, spine, wee little arms and leg buds. The ultrasound tech took measurements of the baby's heart too, even at this early stage!!!!
Can you tell that I'm still a little thunderstruck and amazed?!!
God's miracles are wonderful.

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Old Friends

An old friend I went to high school with contacted me through MySpace. It was a great surprise to hear from him. He's married with THREE kids! It's great to hear that old friends are doing well. He (Todd) asked me about any other people I'd kept up with from school. I filled him in on everything I knew and what I'd found out at our reunion in July. The part that I was apprehensive about sharing with him is that at the reunion it was announced that his high school girlfriend, Melanie, had passed away. I searched for her obituary and asked around but I couldn't find out anything. I told Todd the news in my last e-mail and I said that I hoped he already knew about Melanie. I am just really, really hoping that he'd already heard. I would feel awful if I'd told him something so devastating in a casual e-mail. I'm questioning myself here. Todd was always a really great guy so I'm sure he'd forgive me. Not to mention that we did kind of grow up together, so he could easily recognize that I'm a bit wacky. But I'd really feel worse than horrible if I were springing news like this on him for the first time. He's in Texas and has been for awhile.
I also received another call from a dear friend that I haven't spoken to in a month. I called her to let her know I was preggers. We always talk and laugh but it always seems like she keeps herself distant from me. I don't know why. Despite all that I was certainly glad to have her call me for a change. It seems I'm craving close friends these days. So many of us overlook how precious and rare true friendship really is.

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

A long weekend

I've been off work for a few days. It's been nice to not have to come here to this office for a while. However I must admit that I get B-O-R-E-D sitting at home. I was actually glad to have some laundry to do. HELLO. That is an illness. Who the hell is glad to do laundry?!!

I have been seriously nauseated for the past few days. It seems that I just don't get hungry anymore. I know I need to eat when I start to feel really sick and queasy. I'm sure you can guess that situation does not make me want to eat. But once I get started, and slowly at that, I am generally okay.

On Saturday night, in the bed, I had the most horribly awful dizzy spell begin. Who the heck gets dizzy while they're lying in bed?! ME. When I'd have to get up to go to the bathroom, it was terrible. Sunday morning was miserable. I didn't start really moving around until almost 2. I didn't make it to church, but that didn't mean I didn't pray. And pray hard! For relief from the vertigo.

The main reason I got up at 2 on Sunday was to try to get myself ready to go out to dinner with my mom and dad. I had talked to my mom on Saturday about it. She suggested going out early in the day Sunday. So when I called them at 2:30 on Saturday and they were at O'Charlie's eating...we'll that just set off the waterworks. Mother had forgotten about our conversation!! I cried, embarrassingly and loudly for about 5 or 10 minutes. She then called back to apologize and we made plans to meet later in the evening.

Oh me!! What am I going to do with my crazy self?!

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Flowers and Warm Sunshine

Last night Ax apologized for upsetting me so badly. Yesterday was really an awful day.

But today is better, thank goodness. The weather is wonderful and I'm feeling pretty good. I went for a walk on my lunch break. I wish that I could've stayed out there all day long. I feel too confined indoors. I'm really, really looking forward to spring and summer. The winter is so dry and dead and lifeless. Bring on the flowers and warm sunshine!

Ax is going running and to dinner with a friend after work. So I get to loaf around tonight! Sounds mighty fine to me.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

No Roses or Rainbows Here

Well, I'd like to make it all roses and rainbows but it ain't. I feel sick, nauseated, tired, and pretty moody. Ax has been no help with this. He says hateful things and continues to talk about his favorite thing: money, money, money.
He had me in hysterics this morning on my way to work. I've told him that things are in the making here at work to allow me to come back part-time after maternity. I've told him I'm confident about it working out. He says he doesn't trust my instincts and that we should have several back up plans. This is so frustrating to me. What the hell am I supposed to do?!
He also keeps bad mouthing my mother. She owns a business that is related to my field but will not offer any comfort regarding possible employment if I were to need it. The stress is making me sicker. It's put knots in my neck and back and tears welling up in my eyes all day long. I yelled at Ax on the phone this morning when he called my during my breakdown. I told him I couldn't handle this.

Monday, February 13, 2006

The Latest...

I'm 8 weeks as of this past Friday. My own clothes still fit at this point. I've read that it should remain that way until about the 15th week. I am the most impatient person in the world. I don't know if I can wait until the 23rd to go back to the doctor. She'd BETTER do some kind of scan or ultrasound or whatever. I HAVE to see if everything is as it should be in there.

I've had the strangest nights, the past two nights. I don't know if I'm dreaming that I'm extremely nauseated or if I really am. I lie there wondering if it will subside or if I need to get up and get to the bathroom. Both nights I've either fallen back to sleep or it has gone away. It's very intense, but my dreams of late have been just that, very intense.

Friday night my niece and nephew spent the night with us. Lauren is 5 and Aaron is 6. When we took Lauren back home on Saturday she proceeded to thank us for "the worst day of her life". I still don't know what the heck is up with that. Lauren is quite a character.

Friday night my mom and dad went out of town to celebrate their 29th anniversary. I said it to mom and I'll say it to you, I can't believe my mom has put up with my dad for THAT long! I love my dad dearly but he is a hyper active, very impatient person. My mom is amazing for both staying married to him for 29 years and not having gone crazy herself.

Thursday, February 09, 2006

The Runaway Fish Stick

Last night I cooked some oh so nutritious fish sticks for dinner.While putting them into the oven one sneaky little fish stick jumped off the pan. It fell into what I've now learned is the unknown crack of abyss between where the oven door meets the oven. At first I could see the it. I decided to be ingenious and get a fork to stab it with and remove it. Well, guess what? Frozen fish sticks and forks do not get along. I succeeded in pushing the fish stick down further into the abyss and then I could not see it.
At this point I was a little aggravated at having my head stuck into a 425 degree oven searching for a stupid fish stick. I was really afraid that it would burn and stink up the entire house. Not that I would ever really be familiar with burning something and stinking up my house ;)
So, I called Ax in to the rescue. He is such a sweetie. However as the search progressed for the fish stick and it could not be found, Ax admitted that he thought I was crazy. He claimed that there couldn't possibly be any lost fish stick. He'd looked everywhere and I was imagining things.
I laughed and said that yes, I was crazy, but there was indeed a fish stick somewhere in the oven that it shouldn't be.
Ax got a pair of tongs and was looking, looking everywhere. We emptied the drawer beneath the oven with no luck.
Finally there was a break through.
Ax found it on the side of the drawer!!! It had fallen behind the handle/lip of the drawer, to the side, onto the metal ridge that you slide the drawer in with!!!
I told him he was my wonderful fish stick finder.

So if I'm acting weird, it's because I cooked my brain last night by sticking my head into the oven for far too long to find a runaway fish stick.

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Weirdly Shaped Clothes Section

When I've been feeling a little under the weather for several days in a row, my usual self-soothing response is to go purchase new clothes for myself.
However that treat is on hiatus for a while.
I suppose my figure may be expanding in the near future and it will only serve to depress me if I can't get my big 'ol self into my spiffy new duds.
Guess I'll be visiting that weird section of the store called "maternity" for a while.
It's the strangest thing.
I've always steered very, very clear of the the "maternity" section. I've always kind of viewed it as the "dusty, non-fashionable, weirdly shaped clothes" section. Now it's going to be where I go to self-soothe?!!
That is certainly a difficult idea to wrap my mind around.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

I Hate Healthy Food

All I want is greasy, fattening fast food. Keep your grapes and carrots, I'll have a cheeseburger please. And that dry, tasteless breakfast bar that is so full of good-for-me fiber...YUCK. Gimme a bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit please.
I do not want healthy, 2.5 grams of fat per serving Chicken Noodle Soup for lunch. YUCK, YUCK, YUCK, ICK, BARF, BARF, BARF. I want Taco Bell and lots of it.

Yeah, so I'm preggers and my baby is probably growing a brain or something this week. I've brought all of the aforementioned "healthy/yucky" food with me today, but I don't want a thing to do with any of it. I'm sure I'll behave and eat it anyway. But dawg gone it, why does what's bad for you have so MUCH more APPEAL?!!!

Chocolate brownies....yummmm.
French fries....serious yummmm.

Oh and by the way, I don't want to do any freaking exercise either!!!

Monday, February 06, 2006

A Very Foul Disposition

Today I have been in one crabby mood. I've been running errands for Ax. Firstly, they didn't have the stupid video game he wanted. Secondly, I called him to tell him and I began to get yelled at because he'd evidently been trying to call me and my phone isn't working properly. That just pissed me off even more.
And where is the happiest place to go when you are already pissed off??!!!
I've been to the post office far to often in the past couple of weeks than should ever be allowed. Repeated visits to the post office begin to encroach upon and suffocate my already deteriorating sanity. And so help me God if I go into the post office ONE more time and get chewed out because of I've addressed or packaged something wrong again, I am going to strangle a postal worker.

We've been selling stuff on e-bay, well I say "WE" but it's more like "HE", being Ax. He's trying to make extra money to help us pay off our bills as quickly as possible. He worries so much about money. I feel badly for him. I know that the stress may take a physical toll if he keeps it up. I just don't know what I can do to help him. I try to participate in the e-bay stuff but outside of that I'm at a loss.

Friday, February 03, 2006

Annoying People

Met my mom for lunch. Unfortunately she had to bring her extremely annoying co-worker, Kristie, with her. Kristie has the loudest, rudest personality of any person I've ever met. The last two times I met up with her I can recall a distinct desire to punch her in the nose. Normally I am a very tolerant person. But Kristie can really push my buttons. She thinks she's funny, but *insert sing-songy voice here* ....but, she's not.
Maybe my hormones are making me more sensitive. Or maybe Kristie just has the most aggravating personality on the planet. Yep, I think that's it. It's definitely HER not ME.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Mr. President

Dear Mr. President,

Let me begin by mentioning that your State of the Union Address was enlightening. My overall opinion is that you have a genuine desire to be the best President possible.
Now to the real issue, please fix social security. When you said last night that by 2030 nearly 60% of the Federal budget would be used up by Social Security and Medicare...well that just kind of burned into my brain. And put a hitch in my get-a-long, shall we say. I know that you want a committee created to "study" it and come up with possible solutions. My general opinion of federal committees is not good. They are three piece suit wearing, fat salary getting, idiots.
So based on all this, let me make a few suggestions:
1. Do not give social security to rich people. I don't care if they've paid into their whole life. America, the land of opportunity has obviously been good to them. They can do without the measly social security checks just adding to their already massive bank accounts. I'm not exactly sure about how to do this but I'm pretty sure it involves checking out peoples assets. It's only fair.
2. Tighten the screws on the requirements for qualifying for social security. If I had a damn nickel for every shoplifter that said they could pay their fine on the first of the month when they got their "check" I'd be a friggin millionaire. These bums that I am looking at CAN work. That is, IF the government will motivate them by removing their free money. They CAN flip burgers.
3. Stop borrowing out of the social security money. It's not yours, DON'T TOUCH IT.
4. If you get any sort of committee going, let them all be financial geniuses. So they can create investment plans for the money. Like, get Bill Gates or someone like him.
5. If none of the aforementioned methods are successful please allow me to STOP paying into the damned fund. I can save my money, invest my money, blow my money, whatever. The key idea is that it's MY MONEY and I'd prefer NOT to be flushing it down the toilet.

Average Jenni