Thankyouverymuch.

I now have two baby showers under my belt. It's odd being the one in the spotlight for a change. I'm far more accustomed to sitting on the outside and looking in. But I made it through and enjoyed every second of it. All of my family and friends have been so wonderfully generous. It can be very frightening to think of all the stuff we'll be needing. I have no idea what we'd have to do were it not for the giving hearts that people have. We have all the big stuff now. And plenty of extras. It's hard to express how thankful I really am. You may think that all you did was buy me those onsies and that nurser set or breastpump I picked out. But it's so much more than that. Really.

The baby shower my Mother-in-law gave was great. There were around 15 people there. Many of them Ax's relatives that I rarely see. It's great to visit with them. But odd because they see me only a couple of times a year and here I am, big as a house.

My mother gave me a shower that was equally fabulous. My mom really enjoys breaking out the fancy dishes and serving plates. Mom sets a table that's hard to match. She's spent years collecting the antique punch bowl, ladle, cups, platters, plates, and all things silver and crystal. Mother really made me feel special. Everyone did.

It's great to see all the open arms that little Wyatt will have waiting for him when he arrives.

And speaking of his arrival. Yikes! The more I think about that labor thing. And ya know the pain that will inevitable accompany that....well...all I can say is AHHHHHHHHH. Anticipation of pain will only make it worse. Therefore, I REFUSE to dwell on it. I'm am hereby brainwashing myself. My labor will be all roses and rainbows. Yep, that's what I said. You out there laughing hysterically...shutup. I can be as delusional as I please. Thankyouverymuch.

Pregnancy Brain

Yep, I've officially got it. I can feel myself getting dumber and dumber by the minute. I don't know how to describe it fully. Just a lack of concentration. And a serious lack of effort to focus.

It seems that making it thru the workday is so much more of a chore than it's ever been. I watch the clock tick and daydream about lounging on the couch and taking leisurely naps. The self control required to keep myself at this desk is becoming more and more daunting. Lack of concentration and fatigue are my enemies in this battle. I will be 8 months as of next week. I can't believe it. My belly has grown a lot and it has more to go.

I try not to think about the future too much. It only causes me a bit of anxiety. The short term worries of no sleep and all the expenses coming our way are daunting. The long term thoughts of how drastically life will change.

There is a woman at the post office. She is a pretty lady in her late 40's I suppose. I see her often to mail packages from Ax's ebay sales. The lady, Mary, and I have spoken a few times. She's told me that she was only pregnant once, with her son. He's now on his way to college.
Many things about Mary linger in my mind. I have wondered what it's like to be her. To have only one child who's leaving the nest. To have a stable job and work the 40 hour a week drudge. What if I'm her when I'm almost 50? I don't know if I want to be. I want more. Maybe she has more and is happy. It's just my imagination going into over drive. The only sense I can make of where my brain is going is that I need to consider what I want my life to be like when I'm almost 50. And then work to make it happen.

One of the DUMBEST things I've ever done...

I was reading a blog and thought I'd confess about one of the dumbest things I've ever done.

I had been in class all day at UTC (Univ of TN at Chattanooga). Which is a college. Duh. But you'd never believe I'd have ever set foot inside such an academic institution based on the idiotic things I've done.

Class was over. I hiked to my car. Got into said car. Proceeded to look forward and see there was no vehicle in front of mine. Hit the gas. Successfully launched my little hatchback Hyundai Excel over the the top of a yellow, concrete parking barrier thingy. My crappy little car was parked at a slant in an uphill direction. There was another concrete barrier less than a foot away from the one I was at which basically trapped the front wheels of my car.

So what does the genius do?

First I tried reverse and lots of gas. No such luck.

I felt like a such an absolute MORON. Who the hell does this sort of thing?!

And then salvation came in the form of two hunky guys walking by. One of them was kind of shaking his head while asking me if I needed some help. The two of those blessed souls picked up the front of my car and moved it for me. God bless good Samaritans.

Needless to say, since then, I have been keenly aware of driving forward from ANY parking space.

I want some Raspberries! NOW!

I'm getting further and further away from my desk. It seems that everyday I'm pushing away a little bit more. My belly is extending significantly. It enters the room before I do. My belly dictates how I sleep, how I sit, how I feel because sometimes it kinda hurts.

I can see the baby move from one side to the other. It's kind of freaky. A happy freaky I'd say. But freaky is still freaky ya'll. I haven't seen any elbows or knees protruding yet. That will really knock me for a loop.

I R.E.F.U.S.E. to go outside into the heat. I will only go quickly from one air conditioned space to the next. I despise the hot car.

Sunday evening Ax and I went to his parents house. While there we got into the pool. Afterwards I evidently took my wedding ring off to put lotion on and left it in their bathroom. I didn't realize that I'd left it there until we got home. At first, I thought I'd lost it. I started freaking out. I almost got sick, it upset me so badly. But after my MIL said that she had found it and put it away for me, I calmed down. Dammit. I hate it when I do stuff like that. Soooo not good for the nerves.

By the way. In case it's not obvious. I want raspberries! Now!

Shampoo (What a Hilarious Word -Rinse & Repeat)

I realized something strange about myself this morning.
I have five bottles of shampoo.
All of the bottles are about 3/4 empty. I have only one bottle of conditioner. What the heck is up with this? Neurotic, I'm thinking, is the word that describes me.
Maybe I just like buying new kinds of shampoo? That could've been a theory until I realized that three of the bottles are the exact same kind of shampoo. Go figure.
Seriously, what does this reveal about the inner workings of my brain?
The shampoo bottles. They clutter up the shower. They are ugly. Because? Obviously if you leave them sitting there for the 6 months to 1 year it takes me use them they get kind of scummy.
Do I have a fear of a shampoo shortage? Shampoo hoarding issues?
One particular large, black bottle kept falling off the edge of the tub. Eliciting colorful curse words from my hubby.
That's when I knew I had to make a change.
I solemnly devoted myself to using up that one big, black bottle of shampoo until it was gone.
Today, I succeeded.
The big, black bottle of shampoo is in the trash.
As I squeezed out the last of the goo and heard those farty noises that the bottle makes I felt a sense of accomplishment.
There are now only 4 bottles of shampoo left. Three of them being the same kind.
I am determined to work my way through them.
I will purge myself of my Shampoo Clutter.

Veggies

We're having a lovely couple over for dinner tonight. Andrea is preggers too. She's about a month or so behind me. She and her hubby are vegetarians. Not the strict kind. Just the simply "No Meat" kind. That has made cooking easy enough. Veggie pizza should do the trick. A fruit tart for dessert. It's only all the damned vegetable and fruit chopping that's wearing on a gal's feet. But oh well. I'm looking forward to their company.

The 4th

My brother finally moved out of my parents house with his wife and three kids. They are now back in their own house after evicting our cousin EB.
Jeff now has a crackhead named Christina (Jeff's wife's best friend) that had previously been living in Florida with her three kids move in with them. Christina had been kicked out of her mother's and sister's houses.
Jeff has only been in his house for a few weeks.
Isn't this a nice turn of events? Christina's kids are brats (surprise, surprise). Jeff's oldest son who is 7 years old has told us that these kids keep him up at night and break his toys.
My dad went over to check on things. Christina began yelling at my dad.
People, this is a mistake. Do NOT yell at my dad.
She had no idea what landmine she was about to step on.
My dad has a very short fuse.
Thankfully he only yelled back and did not kill Christina.
This blow up led to Jeff being mad at my dad and refusing to attend the yearly 4th of July cookout. It hurt my dad's feelings. He missed Jeff's kids being there.
I am pissed at Jeff. He truly has the maturity of a 13 year old.

Ramblings...

What are the things I used to write about? I can't seem to remember anymore. I'm consumed with my uncomfortable condition. Yes, it has its enjoyable aspects, but mostly? BLECK. A tight, stuffed feeling in the abdomen that impairs sleep. An overly full feeling that makes me feel like a cow after eating a normal sized meal. While I do love the kicks there are so many feelings that I don't know how to interpret. I feel weird things in weird places. I look like I got into a fight with a mack truck and the truck won. I need a nap. I look at the nursery and feel anxiety. Anxiety over what babies are like. They are really needy in case you haven't noticed. Actually I'd bet that you have noticed a lot more than I have. I'm realizing that I'm a little selfish. I've failed to notice the obvious. I feel anxiety about my job. I'll be coming back part-time, but what does this mean for me? What will truly make me happy? Too many questions, not enough answers.

Okay, okay. I'll stop my bitching. This is just a magnificent place to put feelings into words. I am now going to purposely change the subject.

JENNI OF CLOUDY SKY REVIEWS SUPERMAN RETURNS:
This movie is utterly, absolutely awesome. Having always been a fan of the original Superman movies starring Christopher Reeve, my cinematically educated opinion is that Superman Returns fits seamlessly into the story line. I enjoyed the characters, scenery, plot, music, and everything about this film. The new Superman fits into his character wonderfully. Lex Luther is fabulously devilish. I highly recommend Superman Returns!